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Writer's pictureJ. Griffin Hughes

An Ounce of Prevention


A time traveler lands in the middle of the framing of the U.S. Constitution.


Time Traveler: All right, listen up, bozos! The next 200+ years are gonna be real fucked up, and I know you’re too damn old for me to convince you that you should go ahead and abolish slavery, give women the right to vote, or make it illegal to force a woman to bear and unwanted pregnancy. But, for the love of your “Divine Watchmaker” deistic God, when you are outlining the qualifications required for the U.S. presidency, can you just put in one. fucking. line. about how a convicted felon cannot hold any office in the federal government?


Ben Franklin: Sir, what you are suggesting is so preposterous that it couldn’t possibly be necessary. The will of the people would never knowingly elect a person of such repugnant moral character to lead them.


Time Traveler: JUST DO IT, KITE BOY!



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